I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker, Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor.
the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
and the award for the best way to avoid an embarrassing moment goes to
It is time for a fucking revolution.
If the fashion industry thrives on newness and novelty then they are failing themselves.
If you want a ‘new twist on a classic style’ I’ve got one for you.
Make a pencil skirt for someone who is 5ft 3.
Make a white shirt that will button over my breasts.
Make a shift dress that doesn’t get ‘nipped in at the waist’.
Make a pair of shoes that won’t aggravate my ankle injury.
Make a ‘nude-coloured’ dress that is dark brown.
Make your plus-sized jeans in actual denim, not some shitty stretch fabric dyed blue.
You want a fresh take on the classics?
Try making your clothes for someone who isn’t six foot tall and a size 6.
oh and also make fucking steel-toed boots under the size mens 8 1/2
Make some form-fitting shirts that are thick enough to stop our bras from showing through.
Make sensitive skin-friendly buttons and clasps so we don’t have worry about the metal making us break out in contact dermatitis (that’s a localized rash that can easily become an infection, for the uninformed).
Make a long dress that is easy to go to the bathroom in.
Make a pair of jeans that actually fit in the crotch area instead of putting us at risk of a yeast infection (No “V”).
Make more dress shoes that aren’t heels.
Put more pockets in women’s clothes.
CREATE A FUCKING UNIVERSAL SIZING SYSTEM THAT MAKES SENSE.
Amen to all.
we are the future
but only if we can get off of tumblr and actually try to do this stuff
Mother of god. My mom was trying to take a picture of our christmas tree. Being the troll I am, I kept photobombing. She had me sit down to stop and I threw my phone, knowing it’d never work. It worked. We have a picture of our christmas tree with a flying phone
You guys thought I was kidding…
it looks like it’s taking a selfie… #nomakeup #natural #xmas
Peter Jackson was still editing The Return Of The King a few hours before it premiered and got 11 oscars for it
I can do all my homework the day before it’s due thank you very much.
-Oh the weather outside is weather
But the fire is so fire
Sense we’ve got no place to place
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow-