- Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
- Marry them and start a family
- Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
- Make them strudel with no icing
- They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
- Take all six packets for yourself
- Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster
*knocks on your door*
Hello. I’ve heard you’ve been invalidating a male character’s past straight relationships in order to make your slash ship sale.
Could I interest you on the subject of bisexuality.
It’s free! It’s friendly! It’s perfectly workable with canon! It stops misogynistic fic tropes in order to slash ship in it’s tracks.
Invest in bisexuality today!
Bonus: Buy today and receive a free addition of pansexuality for no extra fee!
when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”
i got to the last gif and felt a literal pain because i am in love
i am getting such leo dicaprio smoking a cigarette on the titanic, rich, will-smack-your-ass and text you at 2am vibes ugh yes
NEVER EVER BIND BREASTS LIKE THIS DONT DO IT. NEEEEEEEVER BIND BREASTS WITH ACE BANDAGES OK???
reblogging for very important commentary
me: horoscopes are fucking stupid if you believe that shit you’re a fucking—
horoscope: leos are sexy as hell
me: genius bruh these shits are real as fuck amazing how are they so on point all the time
police officer: you’re under arrest.
me: im rubber, you’re glue. what bounces off of me sticks to you(:
police officer: fuck
mom: we are going to get mcdonalds after I changes my clothes