thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

virginitity:

vfilthy:

I’M SO HAPPY

was kanye even moving

virginitity:

vfilthy:

I’M SO HAPPY

was kanye even moving

megustamemes:

Sounds like the best party ever.

megustamemes:

Sounds like the best party ever.

rnerci:

scaryly:

rnerci:

scaryly:

rnerci:

apparently a vagina’s pH level is 4.5 

WHICH MEANS THAT IF A MAN HAS TOO MUCH SEX WITHOUT CONDOM HIS PENIS COULD ERODE

uhhh dont you mean dissolve

IT COULD ERODE

as I proud penis owner i can tell you now that the penis is not made of metal therefore it will not erode, but dissolve

IT COULD ERODE

kanyewestfanfics:

Kanye walks outside in the middle of a hurricane. He glances up at the sky and whispers “Fuck no.”
The sky immediately clears and flowers spring from wherever Kanye’s feet touch the ground.

wifipasswords:

He looks like some kind of straight white boy mermaid

wifipasswords:

He looks like some kind of straight white boy mermaid

ontologicallybanal:

smiththeutzy:

ontologicallybanal:

Is it impolite to say “me and my friend” instead of “my friend and I” in english?? Cos in spanish it is.

It’s not impolite! It’s just grammatically incorrect depending on the sentence.

Oh really? Good to know! thank u :)

Of course!! “Me and my friend” is for an indirect object! Like someone would say “she brought food for me and my friend.” “My friend and I” is for the subject of a sentence; someone would say, “My friend and I are going to the store.” Hope that helped!

booknutty:

solemn-things:

booknutty:

if we got all the cats in the world to meow at exactly the same time how loud would it be

Well the average cat meow is like 65/75dB (above speaking volume but below shouting) and there are about 2bn cats in the world, so, by that math, 130-150bn dB. Which is about 100 million jets taking off at once.

catastrophically loud 

lovurs:

i hate white people especially white boys

lovurs:

i hate white people especially white boys

donatellavevo:

an emotional roller coaster from start to finish